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Working title: JACKIE CHAN'S IKEA ADVENTURE
Gist of the movie: Jackie Chan. At IKEA.
Plotline: A corrupt CIA official plans on selling plans for a brand new, supersecret WMD to an Irish mobster. The drop point: An IKEA wastebasket, which Jackie Chan happens to pick up as one of many items on a new-apartment-shopping-spree with his girlfriend.
Insert 80 minutes of furniture-based thrashin' here.
END CREDITS: More inspired by Jackie Chan's American works, in which a good number of outtakes involve flubbed lines, the end credits sequence will consist of five to ten minutes of Jackie Chan attempting to read the names of various IKEA catalog items.
Gist of the movie: Jackie Chan. At IKEA.
Plotline: A corrupt CIA official plans on selling plans for a brand new, supersecret WMD to an Irish mobster. The drop point: An IKEA wastebasket, which Jackie Chan happens to pick up as one of many items on a new-apartment-shopping-spree with his girlfriend.
Insert 80 minutes of furniture-based thrashin' here.
END CREDITS: More inspired by Jackie Chan's American works, in which a good number of outtakes involve flubbed lines, the end credits sequence will consist of five to ten minutes of Jackie Chan attempting to read the names of various IKEA catalog items.
But where are the SNAKES?
Date: 2006-10-03 08:18 pm (UTC)(Otherwise, ROFL)
Re: But where are the SNAKES?
Date: 2006-10-03 10:51 pm (UTC)Re: But where are the SNAKES?
Date: 2006-10-03 11:05 pm (UTC)My outline does, however, involve NINJAS! Because ninjas are the first thing one thinks of in a plotline involving CIA officials and Irish mobsters.
Both of whom, I believe, will also happen to know Muay Thai.
Re: But where are the SNAKES?
Date: 2006-10-04 10:29 am (UTC)Re: But where are the SNAKES?
Date: 2006-10-04 10:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-03 09:24 pm (UTC)I'd pay the real money! I would!
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Date: 2006-10-03 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 10:12 am (UTC)Regardless, it's Jackie Chan's IKEA Adventure, not Jackie Chan's Mall of America Adventure. I envision the final scene unfolding at the checkout counter, where Uncle Bill (Bi Su) would hold up both the CIA and the Irish mobster with guns to their backs...only to reveal, after the arrest, that he was holding them up with pricing guns. The laughing reaction to that between Uncle Bill, Jackie Chan, and his girlfriend would be the freeze-frame finale before the end credits.
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Date: 2006-10-04 12:56 pm (UTC)And no, they'd rather spend time talking about bad choices in celebrity marriage than any real tragedy. Especially if the person wasn't starring in any Jessica Simpson movies.
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Date: 2006-10-04 01:07 pm (UTC)Don't they sell shirts? Why don't any of their models wear them?
*snicker*
And no, they'd rather spend time talking about bad choices in celebrity marriage than any real tragedy. Especially if the person wasn't starring in any Jessica Simpson movies.
I did actually hear about Leslie Cheung's suicide from the mainstream press (well, mainstream entertainment press), even though I had originally thought it was some sort of twisted April Fool's joke. Sadly not. Still, that I didn't have to go to an HK movie aficiando website gives me some hope.
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Date: 2006-10-04 10:15 am (UTC)Dammit, I consider him an integral part to any Jackie Chan movie.
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Date: 2006-10-24 12:35 am (UTC)