(no subject)
Feb. 12th, 2009 05:40 pmAnd now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the greatest joke ever written, courtesy of the official thread about the latest Rock Band press release:
( Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? )
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled friendslist antics.
( Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? )
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled friendslist antics.
Working title: JACKIE CHAN'S IKEA ADVENTURE
Gist of the movie: Jackie Chan. At IKEA.
Plotline: A corrupt CIA official plans on selling plans for a brand new, supersecret WMD to an Irish mobster. The drop point: An IKEA wastebasket, which Jackie Chan happens to pick up as one of many items on a new-apartment-shopping-spree with his girlfriend.
Insert 80 minutes of furniture-based thrashin' here.
END CREDITS: More inspired by Jackie Chan's American works, in which a good number of outtakes involve flubbed lines, the end credits sequence will consist of five to ten minutes of Jackie Chan attempting to read the names of various IKEA catalog items.
Gist of the movie: Jackie Chan. At IKEA.
Plotline: A corrupt CIA official plans on selling plans for a brand new, supersecret WMD to an Irish mobster. The drop point: An IKEA wastebasket, which Jackie Chan happens to pick up as one of many items on a new-apartment-shopping-spree with his girlfriend.
Insert 80 minutes of furniture-based thrashin' here.
END CREDITS: More inspired by Jackie Chan's American works, in which a good number of outtakes involve flubbed lines, the end credits sequence will consist of five to ten minutes of Jackie Chan attempting to read the names of various IKEA catalog items.
(no subject)
May. 24th, 2006 02:05 am |
| Disco Luggage! This is a subject line I saw in my mailbox this morning. |
| And THIS was the first thing I thought I had to do after seeing it: |
 |
Crossposted to
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soredandsaucery.
(no subject)
Dec. 8th, 2005 12:40 pmFrom: Free Nike Shoes
Subject: Build -Your- Own Nike Shoes
Please choose:
1) ...so, will they be called "NIKEA" post-merger?
2) ...I may be Chinese, but I'm about twenty years too old to be working in a sweatshop.
3) Other (please list in comments)
Subject: Build -Your- Own Nike Shoes
Please choose:
1) ...so, will they be called "NIKEA" post-merger?
2) ...I may be Chinese, but I'm about twenty years too old to be working in a sweatshop.
3) Other (please list in comments)
(no subject)
Oct. 4th, 2005 03:36 pmIt's amazing what I learn about PayPal from spoof letters.
( For example, PayPal was apparently founded in 2005. )
If ever someone falls victim to this letter, I hope they use the money to buy themselves English lessons. And also, I hope they send the victim a dictionary with the word "gullible" in it.
( For example, PayPal was apparently founded in 2005. )
If ever someone falls victim to this letter, I hope they use the money to buy themselves English lessons. And also, I hope they send the victim a dictionary with the word "gullible" in it.
*bangs head against wall*
Aug. 7th, 2005 01:41 pmI JUST realized how George Lucas came up with the name "Mustafar" for Ep III...
<Anakin> I'm still alive, only I'm really badly burned!
<Anakin> I'm still alive, only I'm really badly burned!
Lawrence's mind on Revenge of the Sith:
May. 30th, 2005 02:10 am( Cut for the crucial spoiler scene of the movie. )
The movie is all about shiny. Don't think about plot, or even character development. Just watch shiny.
The movie is all about shiny. Don't think about plot, or even character development. Just watch shiny.
Not-unattractive girl next to me, watching me dance in full suit (including jacket): Aren't you baking, dancing like that? You're making me hot!
Me: Thanks. I need more women telling me that.
Me: Thanks. I need more women telling me that.
(no subject)
May. 1st, 2005 02:18 amI must be drunk. Whenever I hear Gwen Stefani sing, I keep on wanting to shout "WERE! If I WERE a rich girl, you grammatically-impaired bitch!"
One of her four muses ought to be "English."
(And for those of you who want to make the remark that I'd do the same were I sober, Gwen Stefani has been one of my pop idols since No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom '97 tour.)
One of her four muses ought to be "English."
(And for those of you who want to make the remark that I'd do the same were I sober, Gwen Stefani has been one of my pop idols since No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom '97 tour.)
(no subject)
Apr. 20th, 2005 01:15 amSpam subject:
RE: WALIUM C1AL1S VlA'GRA
Please tell me I'm not the only one who immediately heard Chekov's voice selling "Walium."
RE: WALIUM C1AL1S VlA'GRA
Please tell me I'm not the only one who immediately heard Chekov's voice selling "Walium."
(no subject)
Mar. 24th, 2005 12:07 pmInstead of relying on electromagnetic waves or light waves to carry data, RedTacton uses weak electric fields on the surface of the body as a transmission medium. A RedTacton transmitter couples with extremely weak electric fields on the surface of the body... RedTacton can also "transmit" through clothing or shoes, allowing the useful possibility of downloading MP3s through a floor-based sensor while dancing the Lambada. What's more, you can swap files by straight human contact, so two filesharers equipped with RadTacton devices can indulge in torrid illegal P2P activity and have sex at the same time.
Wow, file-swapping via sex! The possibilities for jokes are endless!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/03/23/human_area_network/
Wow, file-swapping via sex! The possibilities for jokes are endless!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/03/23/human_area_network/
(no subject)
Mar. 24th, 2005 11:00 amA man named "Botha" has just e-mailed our service desk a note reading, "Thank you for this information [regarding a how-to doc on mailbox maintenance]." You don't know how tempted I am to reply, "No problem, sir. Many Bothas died to get you that information."
(no subject)
Mar. 23rd, 2005 04:10 amTitle: The Man with Two Hands
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
loopychew
Fandom: Coupling (UK)
Rating: PG-13 (sexuality)
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. I just wish they were. Particularly Sally.
Author's note: This is actually an incomplete draft, involving only the males' plot of the fic--which is originally what I was planning on writing, anyway. You see, this is directly inspired byphoenixchilde's Everyday Superheroes Fanfic Challenge, which involves taking a character from a non-superhero fandom and giving him superhero powers. My twisted mind, of course, asks what Jeff Murdock would do were he given superpowers. And this was the answer.
So, without further ado...
( The Man with Two Hands )
Author:
loopychewFandom: Coupling (UK)
Rating: PG-13 (sexuality)
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. I just wish they were. Particularly Sally.
Author's note: This is actually an incomplete draft, involving only the males' plot of the fic--which is originally what I was planning on writing, anyway. You see, this is directly inspired by
phoenixchilde's Everyday Superheroes Fanfic Challenge, which involves taking a character from a non-superhero fandom and giving him superhero powers. My twisted mind, of course, asks what Jeff Murdock would do were he given superpowers. And this was the answer.So, without further ado...
( The Man with Two Hands )
